"Grumpyoldmen"--The Scary Thing About Clubbing and Bushy Ears
Posted: Friday, September 19, 2008
by kevin ashton
wannabetvchef
Several months ago these two grumpy old men decided to take the plunge and go clubbing in the Worcestershire town of Kidderminster….What an eye opener.
After a nice home cooked dinner we drove to the night-spot and were amongst the early arrivals. The average age looked about 22…we felt so old.
The choices of beer were not choice….just keg bitter or lager some things in clubbing never change. We found a table at a raise part of the floor plan, which would give us a good viewing advantage point.
By 11pm the place was fast filling up and I noticed that we seemed to be the only two sober people in the club?…..Seems that these days the gig is to get shit-faced before you go out.
Another half an hour on and I seemed to be often defending my beer from over zealous glass collectors. These days their main job is to pick up bottles since most of the drinks consumed were of a bottle variety.
Just then an empty beer bottle whizzed past my left ear..and then another and another.
No a fight hadn't broken out.... it was just the lazy glass/bottle collector who was throwing the empties over my shoulder rather than walk them into the wheelie bin a few feet away. I had to get very grumpy before he paid heed to my complaint.
Just then a kafuffle seemed to break out over in the direction of the wheelie bin. Had some poor fellow clubber been hit by one of the thrown bottles? Suddenly with the help of her friends a women unsteadily got to her feet looking very unwell, it was then that we noticed this was infact a women of our own age group and perhaps the only women of our age group in the club. The brief notion of a dance was interrupted by her noisily throwing up into the aforementioned wheelie bin. It was at that point we decided to call it a night.
Bushy Ears
It happens in your thirties but you don't really pay it much attention until your into your early 40's and some kindly person points out. "The hair growing out of your ears is in fact quite luxurious and definitely thicker than some parts of your scalp." You can ignore it no longer so you try shaving your ears only to discover how easily they bleed…..and bleed. You trim what you can see but by now without your glasses you miss quite a lot. The most embarrassing is after a visit to the hairdresser, when you unwittingly go home with your bushy ears in full view.
I mean ..shouldn't a discreet hairdresser run their razor over your flowing locks to save your embarrassment and earn their tip?
I'm sitting here wondering what is the female equivalent, a moustache? Hairy nipples? Only on a topless beach I guess…now where are those damned earmuffs!!!
The choices of beer were not choice….just keg bitter or lager some things in clubbing never change. We found a table at a raise part of the floor plan, which would give us a good viewing advantage point.
By 11pm the place was fast filling up and I noticed that we seemed to be the only two sober people in the club?…..Seems that these days the gig is to get shit-faced before you go out.
Another half an hour on and I seemed to be often defending my beer from over zealous glass collectors. These days their main job is to pick up bottles since most of the drinks consumed were of a bottle variety.
Just then an empty beer bottle whizzed past my left ear..and then another and another.
No a fight hadn't broken out.... it was just the lazy glass/bottle collector who was throwing the empties over my shoulder rather than walk them into the wheelie bin a few feet away. I had to get very grumpy before he paid heed to my complaint.
Just then a kafuffle seemed to break out over in the direction of the wheelie bin. Had some poor fellow clubber been hit by one of the thrown bottles? Suddenly with the help of her friends a women unsteadily got to her feet looking very unwell, it was then that we noticed this was infact a women of our own age group and perhaps the only women of our age group in the club. The brief notion of a dance was interrupted by her noisily throwing up into the aforementioned wheelie bin. It was at that point we decided to call it a night.
Bushy Ears
It happens in your thirties but you don't really pay it much attention until your into your early 40's and some kindly person points out. "The hair growing out of your ears is in fact quite luxurious and definitely thicker than some parts of your scalp." You can ignore it no longer so you try shaving your ears only to discover how easily they bleed…..and bleed. You trim what you can see but by now without your glasses you miss quite a lot. The most embarrassing is after a visit to the hairdresser, when you unwittingly go home with your bushy ears in full view.
I mean ..shouldn't a discreet hairdresser run their razor over your flowing locks to save your embarrassment and earn their tip?
I'm sitting here wondering what is the female equivalent, a moustache? Hairy nipples? Only on a topless beach I guess…now where are those damned earmuffs!!!
This Article has been viewed 192 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.